It’s a Struggle

Posted on by Jesus, Family, Food

Talk about God meeting you right where you are. He did that for me today, with an article from Desiring God. We are heading to Augusta today and today has been a struggle. My fibromyalgia has been on full blast since having my surgery. I try really hard not to complain or show that I am hurting, but my husband worries about me so much, so I always try and get myself together as much as possible, so that he can have some peace of mind. My body hurts 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Some days are manageable, some days are just down right hard. Since my surgery, I have had terrible inflammation and it has been throughout my entire body. I saw my Dr yesterday and he said he believes the surgery pushed me into a flare up. When I asked how long it would last, his response wasn’t what I wanted to hear. But I was being positive. Yesterday, I was strong. Yesterday, I was ok. Today, I am not. Today, I am tired. Today, I am hurting. I am frustrated. I stood in my closet staring at my clothes, trying to pack and all I could think was, “God, I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this. I am 32 years old. I am young.” I pushed through and finished packing and getting dressed. Justin could tell I didn’t feel good, we never said anything to one another, he just knows me and he knows when I’m hurting. He was doing everything he could to help me, without being too pushy, because he knows that drives me crazy. We got in the car and were getting on the road when I got on FaceBook and there it was. Desiring God posted this article “God Will Sustain You One Day at a Time”. I clicked on it, because I love Desiring God and from the second I started reading, I couldn’t fight back the tears. I’m talking snot everywhere, ugly crying. She reminded me of His promise to me and aldo, that I declared even if He never heals me, I will still praise Him!

“He wasn’t assuring me that my circumstances would change. He was asking me to endure today and trust him for tomorrow.” Trust Him. Even when it hurts. Even when you don’t want to. Because He has brought you this far. He hasn’t abandoned you yet. Remember those days you said you couldn’t make it, look how far you’ve come, because HE brought you through. I will come through this. HE WILL GET ME THROUGH THIS. He is good and regardless of how I feel, I will rejoice and I will praise him. He will sustain me. He is just. He is faithful and His ways are higher than mine could ever be. God I praise you in the midst of my storm, because you are with me and You have never left my side. Without Him, I would not make it one day. On my own I am nothing, but with Him I can face whatever this world has for me and I will cling to his word. It is my deepest prayer, that if you don’t know Him, you will. Those of you who are struggling in silence. Those of you who feel totally alone. Those of you who feel you can not live another day like this one. You don’t have to. Is it easy? No, nothing of this life is. But He makes the impossible, possible. The unbearable, bearable. He makes the weak, strong. He wants to carry you through, we simply have to give in and allow Him. Let Him be your peace, let Him be your Joy. Especially in the hard times.

Here is the article from Desiring God

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/god-will-sustain-you-a-d

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Published by Jesus, Family, Food

My name is Allyson, I am 32 years old, going on 10 years married to my honey, mom of 3 crazy beautiful kiddles and I love Jesus Christ. He is my Lord and my Savior and though I fail him daily, I am constantly striving to be more like Him. I want to share His light with you through my journey. My husband is a Type 1 diabetic. My oldest Lila who is 8, was diagnosed as HFA this past year and that reality hit me hard. She is beautiful. Smart. Kind. Loves BIG. Though I say it all the time, she is truly God's gift of grace to my life. My Lyni girl is 4 and she is a spitfire who will punch you in the face then kiss you on the cheek and she is my forever baby. Wyatt Samuel came along a few months later and he has rocked our girly world. He is monster trucks, football, crazy dancing and the sweetest kisses. Learning how to boy is so fun and better than I ever expected. My children are constantly showing me what God's love looks like. They continually show me grace for my short comings and love me relentlessly. We homeschool and it is kind of a circus, but we take it day by day. Seven years ago my health started to decline. We saw several Drs all offering different, but never clear diagnoses. With each pregnancy the pain and sickness seemed to get worse, which lead to my OB removing my tubes bc he thought that was what was causing my illness. I still to this day struggle with the grief & brokenness that loss has left in my heart. Two years later in June 2018, on one of our monthly ER visits, I had internal bleeding and they found I had a partially ruptured appendix and I was septic. After surgery, the Surgeon told my husband and I if I had waited 48hrs I wouldn't have made it. He told me from the appearance of my appendix it had been that way for a long time and due to the severity it would probably be at least 3 years before we saw the full effects this has had on my body. Since surgery, I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, nerve damage, chronic inflammation and March 2019 I had my gallbladder removed. Throughout these 7 years, I have gained weight and have carried a sense of shame for my condition and not being able to control it. Living with an invisible illness is hard. It's hard for people to support you, to believe you, to help you. I finally decided it was time to share my story and share my journey. God has walked me through every step of this. He has gone before me and as hard as it is to accept at times, even if He never heals me, I KNOW He has purpose in all of my pain. Some days that peace is harder to find than others, but even when fear creeps in, His peace shines through. All I want you to know, THE MOST important thing, is God IS good. He is faithful. And especially when things don't go our way, He is merciful and so full of grace. I will be sharing my journey, along with my passions, Jesus, Family and Food. I hope you find encouragement, yummy recipes and a few laughs along the way!